carpet roll

gonna try a live blog update strategy for the oscars red carpet. and we're off:

3:00: who would i have to pay to get on that carpet? and could ryan seacrest get shorter?

3:02: is it wrong that i heart ben lyons?

3:08: ryan is talking to miley cryus. did't recognize her without her "dad" clinging on for dear life. i have to say though, i think that dress is gorg. if only she wouldn't speak.

3:17: my god hugh jackman is a good looking male.

3:40: holy funniness, guliana just made a totally loaded comment about zac efron and his beard, i mean girlfriend vanessa doing the red carpet seperately (yet only 4 feet away from each other).

3:48: i don't think they left any cast/crew behind for the movie slumdog millionare. bollywood is seriously in the house. and they call him the "george clooney" of india? um. i'm not seeing it. although the precision trim on the beard is admirable.

3:50: taraji p. henson (queenie from ccobb) is seriously gorgeous. serious.

3:55: john legend is a sexy beast.

3:57: melissa leo is the bomb (c'mon with that name?) but when did they send out the memo on 80s hair coming back? those curls are bouncy! i'm flashing back to my mom in 1985.

4:00: not sure heidi klum could get one more thing on her left wrist/arm. could she just not narrow it down or is she covering up some scarring? less is more. less. is more.

4:10: seth rogan in the hoooooouuuse!

4:11: mickey rourke is having a smoke as he's walking the carpet. watch the ash drip mick.

4:14: melissa george is at the oscars? i'm confused. and so is her dress.

4:16: robert pattinson is up with the seacrest. 1 million teenage girl viewers just made their parents deaf.

4:17: seeing this sea of people, i wonder if anyone has ever started shouting "moooooo"?

4:18: sarah jessica parker and matthew broderick are up and it's more than awkward so far. and mb has almost completely gray hair. how old are you mb? 80? let's get some just for men up in that mess. and everyone keeps talking about sjp's dress, but no on will show the bottom half. what's going on down there?

4:19: ok. seacrest just basically called seth rogan fat. fattie macfatterson. not cool shortie! not. cool.

4:28: mickey rourke is wearing a necklace with a picture of his dog loki who passed away 6 days ago. seacrest could not change the subject fast enough. but mickey, where was your eric roberts shout out?

4:30: it's official. diane lane doesn't age.

4:31: either a vampire got to jessica beil, or she just came fresh from a tornado.

4:33: just got schooled on "piettes".

4:35: note to self, don't tell peter gabriel that he is doing his song as part of a medley.

4:42: silencio! daniel craig is walking.

4:46: beyonce knowles is wearing a houseplant.

4:50: when will the world get to a point where they don't go ridiculously apeshit when brangelina makes an appearence? can someone tell me so i can just fast forward?

4:45: i can't adore kate winslet more. such a sparkling personality and could not be more humble.

4:59: i think penelope cruz could fit the octopulets under that dress train.

5:01: now over to abc. 29 minutes to go.

5:04: abc finally showed the bottom of sjp's dress. the other 6 of the octomom's kids are under her skirt.

5:12: oh god, mickey just recounted how loki died in his arms. and how he had a tux made for the dog before it died.

5:13: robert downey jr. as sherlock holmes? me likey.

5:16: is miley cyrus still talking?

5:23: jack black is just genius.

5:25: gotta say marisa tomei and anne hathaway's dresses are white pinnacles of beauty.

5:26: seth rogan back in the house. at least this dude hasn't called seth fat yet. on a side note, that bar inside is fully stocked!

5:27: lord help me, abc is already boring me to death. who gives a shit how they came up with the kodak theatre design. this isn't pbs. get on with the show and save this shit for the dvd.