the season

in the last week, i traveled back and forth to sf, attended 2 holiday parties/ 1 team lunch, partook in 1 secret santa offering that lasted the whole week, saw a 3-hour holiday concert at grace cathedral, walked up and down california street 2 times and took more taxi rides than i'd care to admit. the holidays are, at times, exhausting.

walking back to the office in sf on wednesday night after leaving the company-sponsored holiday fiesta, i walked by the embarcadero skating rink. i love this rink. the basic idea even makes me happy. there's something about it--being plopped down in the middle of a business/retail area and thus enjoyed by every type of person from every walk of life you could imagine.

i decided to stop. to listen. to watch.

there was an older couple swaying along on the ice, hands clasped. their sparkling eyes telling everyone that they remembered the first time they skated together like it was yesterday. even if it was decades ago.

there was a teen couple out there too. he, not knowing how to skate at all, but not wanting to look bad in front of his girl. she, graceful on ice, not rubbing it in for fear that he feel embarassed.

as i stood outside of the rink, watching people and children wiz by, i thought to myself--this is the joy of the holiday season. watching moms hold on to their little ones tight as they skimmed over the ice; two friends still in work clothes singing along with the music and taking pictures of each other to cement the happiness in that moment in time.

i wished i was out there.

wished i wasn't so behind in celebrating this year. wished that i wasn't falling behind in life--that i wasn't trailing in doing things that give me the utmost joy of the season. wished that it all wasn't speeding by so fast.

i look up at that moment and was snapped out of my thoughts. jolted. i see a young girl enter the turn to the left, just as a young boy, around her age, lightly smashes in to the wall in front of me. mere seconds later they gently collide, both reunited--grasping the wall as they each try catching their respective breath.

"who's there?" she says.
"it's nick, hi jane! isn't this great?!" he replies.
"it's amazing."

and then i see it. they're blind.

i'm overcome. i'm suddenly filled with emotions all at once--joy, sadness, inspiration and peace. for they are feeling life. living it unafraid. enjoying the season and not taking one thing for granted.

and here i am, on the sidelines. tired and weary. just trying to keep up.

i turn and walk on, take a breath and think about what i just saw; experienced. what it was meant to teach me. what it was anxious to say...